Behind This Smile

Courtesy: Google

I talked to him on the phone for the second time today and at the end of the conversation, I could not stop smiling. Now, that’s a first! There are no hidden agendas behind that smile. Could this mean what I think I might be feeling? Did I just smile because I’m feeling Happy?

Happiness in its purest form...a form that does not expect anything back?

I’m not sure what else I can relate this smile to. Tonight, I’m just Happy I talked with him. 

I wonder if he’s feeling the same thing... 

I don’t want to think negative at this point. There is nothing to think negatively at this stage. Unless I let that dark door open at the back of my mind and all kinds of crappy thoughts would come and mess up my smile.

 

I want to save this smile I have on my face. I’m going to be both blind and deaf to anything that has the slightest potential to get in the way and ruin my smile.

Because tonight... I just want to sink into this smile called Happiness.

The Hazardous Magic

Photo Courtesy: Flickr 

Why do we care for people to care? Sometimes, we seek out in hopes of catching a little magic off the feeling of owning something close to our soul... but it is during those times, these feelings tied with hopes, tend to go haywire. Until finally, it would become an enraged obsession.

I was fooling myself. I believed that a new place to start over would put a closure to old chapters, and a new breeze to breathe would definitely pull me out of my long-standing habit of redoing the same mistakes. But I was wrong, yet again. With my new life, I had built a pretty ritualistic routine of being the “uptight workaholic”. Truth be told, it was a mere attempt to train my untamed heart from going for things, not meant for me to get attached.

Three drinks down, I manage to sit up straight on the empty evening terrace, as stars decide to shine on me kindly and I can almost hear their whisper, questioning the reason for my present predilection. I ignore them and look down at my empty glass and to my surprise I can see a tiny circular window at the glass bottom. Its reflecting me that warm summer night I was out on the street with him, walking alongside a person, who even though was righteously honest enough to express his unsure disposition when it came to me, all I could see through the glass, was that dreamy expression on my face, resigned to risk it all, at the cost of getting hurt again. 

I jump up on my feet in a heightened rush and smash the glass on the floor and scream out to the stars, “Why didn’t you shine on me your righteous wisdom and save me that night, eh?” 

And the stars continued to do what they do best... twinkle away in silence. And I do what I do best every other night... drown myself in some more magic.

P.S: Deeply inspired by the song “Chandelier” by Sia.

P.P.S: Back with a post after a long, long time. More posts will follow, which will continue to unclearly explain what this writer is up to!!