In The Air

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 33; the thirty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is 'Celebrations'

Life is a cycle of emotions. And often, many deeply felt emotions take quite a time to get recycled. That first missed heartbeat when someone tells you that they like you... that first kiss... that first feeling of being lost in love. The first time these emotions happen, you will inexplicably find yourself floating on cloud nine. Your life suddenly becomes more colorful... Technicolor so to say and your routine becomes more meaningful. You will start enjoying every minute of your life. You will start to appreciate yourself more. When love is in the air, you are definitely a better person.

 But, the real life starts to happen, when the cloud nine that you presumably thought to be floating on forever bursts into tiny rain drops, making you fall... a long way back to ground-zero. Tears run wild, heart aches in resentment, colors around you slowly mixes together to just plain, dull grey. You will start to ask questions? “Was I really in love?”... “Why is this happening to me?”... 

And you know then, that this beautifully poisonous emotion called love can’t be with you forever. Everything has to end one day. Love turns into anger and resentment. You would start wishing you had never fallen in this love-pit. But then again, if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have known and experienced those beautiful emotions that exists in this pit. So it’s a cycle indeed. You fall in love, feel great for some time and then get hurt and fall out of it. Then you try... try your best to stay out of love’s way. You will start thinking, “I’m not meant for love” or “I would never find love again”. And it’s true, when you are looking for that four-lettered poisonous dart called love, you will never find it.

You can’t look for love and neither will you find it. Love happens when you least expect it. It’s a clean shot, right through your heart. Love finds you when you are finally learning to lead a content, lonely life. When finally you accept to the idea of leading a long-single life with no care or other head-aches; that’s when love finds you. Irony, isn’t it? Love doesn’t come to you when you need it, it actually decides to awaken your heart when you least need it.

Well, no heart can live without love for long. Try as you might, you just can’t. That craving for care, love and attention will always be there no matter how much you might have thought to have tamed your heart.

So when love knocks on your door again and starts to possess you like never before, who are you to stop it? Just let it be. Love is an invisible celebration. Only you would know how much it is making you to change in your life. 

Love makes you want to live again... properly this time.

Love makes you want to sing again... and sing you will. 

Love makes you want to learn to pay attention to detail... you will start counting every little heartbeat in the name of love. 

Love makes you want to cherish that special someone... never before had anybody had that much of an impact on your life.

Love is indeed an invisible celebration. When cupid strikes an arrow through your heart, you are right then, a transformed person. It spreads warmth through your insides, making you a better person on the outside. Your good nature will be amplified and all your pessimistic thoughts will be forced to be subjugated. We celebrate each and every occassion in the year with dance, music, lights and sweets. But when the celebration of love starts to happen, all you need is love itself and the person you can share it with.

Love is an invisible celebration but it is the celebration of new found hope and happiness. So celebrate it... cherish it... because, love is in the air!!

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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: The Fool, Participation Count: 02

Acrostic Short Story- Frozen Time

FROZEN TIME

Forever igniting the fire within me,

Reverberating the waves of despair;

Only to find a deeply burnt hole,

Zoned right through my once naive heart.

Empathy empathized me to trust you,

Neglecting my heart’s health as it consumed your repeated lies.

Time felt frozen with you around.

Ingloriously drowned myself in blind faith. Alas,

My love for you froze with the frozen time,

Ever-lasting love ceased to exist the moment you chose to desert me       with a mangled and bruised heart.

Written For:  Acrostic Only, Poetry Jam

Realization

Courtesy: Google images

“Would you care to explain your reaction back at the restaurant when you saw that girl?”

“Mom, would you please give it a rest. It had nothing to do with her. I don’t recall making any reactions that you so badly want me to explain”.

“Don’t lie to me Nicolaus, we were in a middle of a very serious conversation and all of a sudden you spilled yourself with wine when that waitress arrived with our food.  And I observed a very cold reaction on the girl’s face when she looked at you. Don’t tell me you are befriending all the downtowners in this city...”

“Mom please, she just looked like someone I knew back in my college days. That’s all...”

“Okay honey. I’m just concerned about your future. You know how much the Andersons family has helped your father in his business. You barely listened to what I said after you saw that girl. Anderson’s daughter Jenna has taken quite a liking for you. I have called her to our residence tomorrow. Would you please stay back and engage her. She’s a doll Nicolaus and I’m sure you will tell me the same after you see her tomorrow.”

“I really don’t have time to play house guest Mom. Why don’t you two ladies talk? Don’t involve me in this. I’m not ready to see anyone right now.”

“What do you mean you are not ready? You are 28 and the most eligible bachelor in our social circle. Of course you are ready to settle down Nicolaus. What’s gotten into you lately? I hope you are not on some dingy drugs...”

“Think what you like mom but don’t expect me to stay back tomorrow.”

 Saying so, Nicolaus stormed out of the house, got into his car and drove all the way to the restaurant they had just come from.

Parking his car right beside the brightly lit “Four seasons Restaurant”, he watched her as she carried out food trays in and out of the kitchen.

Where were you all these days Caroline?

His mind wandered back to a memory that took place 6 years ago.

One late night, Caroline had called him saying there was something she needed to talk to him about. They were both studying at the same university and they were dating from four months.

“Hi baby, what’s so important that you called me to meet you at this hour?”

With her head bent down she said slowly, “Nick, I’m pregnant...”

The news had shocked him but he didn’t show it. He needed to handle this very carefully. There was no way he was ready to father a child at this point in his life. His father was the CEO of a top Marketing Company and a lot of responsibilities were waiting for him back at home.

He hugged her and whispered, “Its ok Caroline, everything will be fine. I promise you...”

She looked at him in surprise and said, “Really? This is fine with you?”

“Yes of course, there is no need to panic. Tomorrow let’s go to Doctor Martha and she will take care of everything. She is a close acquaintance with my family and we can let her do her thing and in two weeks everything will be back to normal. You can attend your classes and we can go back to dating...”

As he saw her hopeful eyes change from shock to anger, he knew he had just said all the wrong things.

“I’m keeping the baby Nick. I don’t need your help. I made up my mind last week itself. Yes, I knew this news from one week. I found courage to let you know today. I hoped you would react to it differently and I almost believed you will help me raise the baby when you said “everything will be fine”. If killing the baby is fine, then I don’t want fine. You get it?”

Anger still burning in her eyes, she backed away from him and said her final words, “Good-bye Nicolaus”.

He had been a coward to call her back and hold her hand and give her his support. Deep in his heart, he wanted to be there for her but the thought of letting his father and mother down made him stop in his track and just turn away.

He had always wondered where she was and whether his child was a boy or a girl. But he had put these issues behind him as he slowly rose above the business ladder.

But when he saw her tonight, that was the first time in six years he was brought back to the ground.

How selfish I've been all these years. Because of me, she left her education to raise a child. We both are responsible and I selfishly backed out. That look she gave me a couple of hours back. I know she will never forgive me. But how selfless of her to not bring the issue up in front of my mother.

Then he saw her coming out of the restaurant with her coat and scarf on. As she waited by the curb for the bus, he gathered his courage and approached her.

“How have you been Caroline?”

“Nick!! You startled me... what are you doing here?”  Her eyes were reacting with his, furiously searching for answers.

“I didn't know you worked here... I thought you moved back to Jersey to your parent’s home after you told me the news...”

“Well, my parents weren’t exactly supportive with my decisions either. Like you, they were ashamed of me. So after a month there, I moved back to NYC... But why do you care Nicolaus, you must be happily married by now as per your parent’s choice”, she scoffed at him.

“Caroline, I’m really sorry. No, I have no right to apologize. I know you will never forgive me...” After a moment’s hesitation he finally said the words he had wanted to say all night, “I never should have left you Caroline. I should have supported you and our child. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend and now a terrible father too... please can I see our child? I don’t even know whether it’s a boy or a girl. I have no right to ask you this... but...”

Caroline held up her hand and cut him off, “Save the apologies Nick. I don’t need it. I’ve moved on and even though I work part time at a restaurant, I’ve saved enough money to finish my education. Emma and I are doing absolutely fine. I’ve told her daddy is not here with us as he is away on a trip. She is too young to understand. When she grows up she’ll know...”

“She doesn’t have to know Caroline. I want to see her and be with her. I want you both in my life. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I’m not going to make another one again. I love you Caroline and I always have...”

“You can see her Nick, I will not deprive you of that. But please don’t enter my life again. Life is tough but I’ve learnt a lot along the way. I’m content with how I am. We don’t need you Nick. I didn’t need you back then and I don’t need you now”.

“I know Caroline, that you are rightfully angry at me, but I’m rightfully sorry too and I want to make things right again. I don’t care what my parents think anymore. It’s you and Emma that I want in my life...”

“Let’s not talk about that now. Come I’ll take you to my home. You meet her once and you please leave and don’t ever enter our lives again”.

“Why Caroline... Why are you being so aggressive? I really do want to be a part of your life. I want to raise my child with you. I deserted you because of fearing my parents. I was a coward until now. I’ve come to realise, no amount of power and money gives happiness in life. All these days, I lead a robotic life. I was empty inside. My decisions have made my parents happy but I certainly am not. When I saw you tonight, the past memories that I tried so hard to hide came back to me and I feared they will torture me from inside. But no, I found new hope Caroline. Seeing you tonight after all these years, has given me new hope...”

Google images

“Save your words Nicolaus, because after you see Emma, I’m sure you will back out again...”

 She shook her head slowly and said,” Our daughter is crippled Nicolaus, from waist down. She was born that way. That’s the reason, I never really called you. You left me when you heard I was having your baby. Would you have really come back if you knew your daughter was crippled?”

 She wiped away her tears and spoke, “It’s ok Nick. I love her so much that she doesn’t need a father figure. You don’t have to disgrace your family with a crippled heir you know...”

Unconfined tears rolled down Nicolaus's eyes.“Caroline, please... I’m not a monster to turn my back even after hearing all these”.

Nicolaus took Caroline’s hand and lead her to his car. “Please take me to my daughter and not one more word above that.”

As he looked into her now surprised yet happy eyes, he knew she had found her answer at last.

Shared with: Theme Thursday

P.S:  Sometimes when I least expect it, I end up writing a short story in one sitting. Two months ago I had some characters in my mind. I had visualised a restaurant and a couple seated at a table. I had planned to let the female character tell the male character that she was pregnant, but before she can do that the male character would tell that he had fallen in love with someone else and that he was leaving her. That’s all I could come up with 2 months ago and I really didn’t know how to weave a starting and ending to such a plot. I had almost given up on this story. Today, I happen to stop by at the Theme Thursday blog and the theme was “reaction”. I’m still bewildered, how the word reaction caused me to write up this story. I guess I reacted to it at last!!

A letter of regret

Dear John,

I know I promised to call you when we parted.

I know I failed to keep my word.

I never called you, not even once I felt the need to visit you.

When I left you, I left a part of my childhood behind.

Wasn’t this the place where we used to meet?

Wasn’t this the very tree we ran around?

Our childish eyes brimming with innocent excitement.

Wasn’t this the place where we buried our broken toys?

Right below the big old tree’s belly, as you used to say.

But time ran as we grew old.

I felt the need to explore my life outside this childish horizon.

That is why I left you, with a fake promise that I’d call you.

I confess. I was young, stupid and dreamed big.

I wanted to marry a rich city man.

Not a farmer’s son who had made up his mind

To remain back and look after the family business.

I know I hurt you when we last met here...

You wanted me to stay with you like always;

But I wanted out. I wanted adventure.

Never did I realize this was where

All my future adventures lay.

When I finally realized my loneliness,

Had nothing to do with the dozen heartbreaks I endured;

But it was due to a single heartbreak that I inflicted,

Upon a man with whom I grew up with;

That is when I decided to revisit this place.

I imagined seeing you standing below the old tree,

Waiting for me as always.

But I was too late wasn’t I?

Had I not left, you would still be here... with me.

Had I called you as I promised,

You would have made me change my mind,

And we could still be together right now.

But while I ignored your call,

You decided to visit me anyway.

Had you not boarded that flight at 12.01,

I wouldn’t be sitting all alone,

Under this big old tree.

I wouldn’t be writing all these in your memory.

Memory... that is all is left of you.

Like a broken toy, I’m going to bury my broken heart

Right below the big old tree’s belly.

Not a day will go by where I don’t regret of ever deserting you.

Your memory... is all that’s left for me here...

May your soul rest in peace.

Love,

Linda.

____________________________________________________________________

Prompt : Short story slam week 19, The Poetry Palace

 P.S: First off, a figment of my imagination(as always :P). There was this beautiful painting/picture at the short story prompt and immediately I wanted to be a part of it. The more I observed this beautiful picture, the more I felt sad. Whoever the artist is, they have managed to capture that deep sense of sad/despair kind of emotion totally well. I know I'm far from doing a good justice to this pic through my fictional letter, but I always wanted to write a sadistic love letter and now I got the chance!! :P

My Knight Forever

“Where are you taking me?”

Curiously, she tried to peek,

From behind the blindfold.

“Patience my love, you’ll soon see”

He let the blindfold fall.

There they stood,

Middle of a giant chessboard.

Surrounded by the majestic,

Black and white pawns.

“This is beautiful”, she sighed

“If only I knew how to play...”

“You’ll soon learn from me” he smiled

“But on one condition...”

He knelt down and held out his hand;

“Will you be my queen forever?”

She folded her arms and spoke;

“No, I shan’t!”

His devastated look made her happy.

She had found her true love at last.

Reaching down to him,

She whispered in his ear;

“Will you honour my heart,

And be my forever knight?”

Written for: One Single Impression Prompt 198: Knight

Concealed Love

A covert mission

Tattooed my heart with your name

If only you knew

Shared with:  Haiku Heights Prompt #96

Taj Mahal

 Image courtesy: link

The powerful infinite passion

Ardent to the desiree

Jinxed treasure and wonder

Marble flooring and walls

Angelic beauty of India

Haunted tomb of souls

An undying love symbol

Love forever will last

P.S: This is my first acrostic Poetry attempt.

Written for:

Prompt 5: Around the World (ATW) - TAJ MAHAL

Till death do us part.

More and more days passed. Time was growing longer, memories started to feel distant. His once constant stream of sms’s to my cell phone seemed to have finally died. I called him to know where he was or at the very least to hear his voice again. All I got was a voice mail every time I tried. That hollow space in my chest seemed to grow bigger and bigger as if I was punched right through my heart. Emotions always elevate metaphorical feelings to physical heights.

I finally decided to face the truth. I wanted to stop lying to myself. I decided to confront him, see and hear the truth for myself. It was the only way to put myself out of my denied misery.

Standing in front of his apartment door, I reached for the door-bell. But something restrained me from ringing the bell. Instead, I reached for the door knob and turned it ever so slowly as if it would buy me all the time in the world to embrace what I was about to walk into. The door was unlocked. As I entered, I heard muffled sounds from the bedroom across the hall.

A lot of emotions ran through my body- confusion, fear, sadness. But I couldn’t find even an ounce of anger in me; the righteous anger that my body should deserve to feel. As I walked towards the bedroom, I could hear his shallow breathing. Deep gasps of air that a body takes in when it is either overly excited or equally exhausted.

I stopped myself from jumping to the worst conclusion even before I could see the truth for myself. The fact was, I was just too much in love with him to assume the worst-case scenario even though the present circumstances did point towards a darkened direction.

Even as the door slid open, I took one look at the room, at him and at that instant I knew. There he was alone as ever, sitting on his bed, taking in deep-shallow breaths as he tried vainly to inhale out of the empty inhaler. I quickly grabbed the medication script by his bed side table and rushed out of his apartment. That’s when I saw it. The medical script contained complicated medicine names for the treatment of lung cancer.

I didn’t need more to understand the reason behind his recent absence in my life anymore. The reason was pure deliberate. As I ran back to his room, apart from the tears in my eyes, something else was showing: Determination.

I know he will put up a fight to push me away from his life. But I’m determined to stay with him till the end.

Tagged to : Three Word Wednesday, ABC Wednesday

The Circle.

My answers to some of the most commonly sought out questions:
What is life?

Life is, when you know there is a mountain of troubles waiting for you in the near future, and yet you live everyday and strive each and every minute of it in order to reach that seemingly impossible destination: the other side of the mountain of troubles. The grass is always greener on the other side.

What is love?

Love is, when you know that you and him is never a possibility and yet, you go all the way by giving your heart, your soul, your everything just to see it work for a while, until it vanishes from the face of reality. Love is just blind that makes every one of your decision seem plausible.

What is faith?

Faith is, when you close your eyes and believe in yourself strongly that you are going to get through that exam just before the results are announced and you open your eyes to see you have fared better than expected. Faith is real and gets stronger with belief.

What is misery?

Misery is, when you accept that someone close to you will never be returning back to you and their lack of physical presence fills you with an undefined emptiness and their memories haunts you every time you close your eyes. And you just wipe your tears and put on a mask of happiness and blend in with the people around you. Misery can be controlled but can never be eradicated entirely.

What is defeat?

Defeat is, when you know that nothing is going your way and there is nothing in your power to rectify your mistakes and decisions and all you can do is run away from your own life. Defeat resembles our own shadow... one can never run from it. We can only hide from it and eventually have to face its intensified form.

What is happiness?

When all doors have been closed on you and yet you have the ability to grab on to that silver-lining through optimism and repercussion and just hope for the best. That’s happiness...Keep your life simple and happiness follows you wherever you go. Hope for happiness rather than wait for misery.

Why am I stating my version of definitions on just these six words: life, love, faith, misery, defeat and happiness? Because they make a circle and I’m, just like any other person is right in the middle of it. Every time either one of these entities happen, each of those other entities follow us, wherever we are and whatever the situation we are in. Without these entities I know for sure that my life will hold no meaning. 

I've tried ignoring love and I've found myself thinking that my life has no meaning.I've tried ignoring my miseries and I've found that I’m leading a very robotic and unfulfilled life. I've lost my trust on faith, only to find out how wrong I was to lose trust on one of the most realistic things in life. I've even hidden from my happiness, only to learn that my eyes have a language of its own.

Life is a cluster of all of these. It’s a gift given by god. A platform to test ourselves in terms of emotions and etiquettes and most importantly, to be able to able to accept who we are with satisfaction ultimatum. This can happen only if we have lived our lives completely through facing the above mentioned entities. Miss out on any one of them; you’ll never come to know the real meaning of- “living your life completely”.

So which part of this circle are you in right now??