In a few days, I’m about to take the last internal test of my Engineering education. It’s always been a battle for me and my friends. Out if a 125 marks per subject, the last 25 marks is in the hands of the lecturers handling that subject. And it’s with these 25 marks that they play all games possible to make our lives unbearable during each semester. But sometimes they misjudge our capabilities. I’m not really talking about us students showcasing our legitimate hard work. I’m talking about our hard work in pulling off illegitimate stuffs. Where there is internals, there is always copying. With such undue dedication we students spend sleepless nights in preparing chits and other thievery weapons without whose help our internal marks would ever be possible. I’ve never carried chits to class since I’m too lazy to even prepare chits. But I’ve given in to temptation when one of my friends sitting beside me took out a neatly written chit from her pocket. Naturally I had to “borrow” her chit!!
I’m more of a last minute mugger. I’d rather fail than get caught for copying. Mugging used to be easy in my school days but in those days I was actually studying my subjects as I had genuine interest in them. But that’s not the case here. There’s just so much information one needs to hold on to that one tends to study for the sake of passing and nothing else. Now days I waste so much time on the day before each internal test that I won’t be left with enough time to mug up the subjects. So what do I do? Only other option is to spin “believable” lies. As long as I know what the concept is, I can gladly spin yards and yards of lies. But this rarely happens since I mostly suffer from writers block. But once or twice this has worked and left me deeply amused. It’s not every day a lecturer awards you marks by believing the lies you have written in the bluebook!
So here’s an account, the likes of which is usually faced by me during one of these memorable internal tests;
Day 3: Still 3 days to go for the internals, lots of time to sleep and Facebook!!
Day 2: Too early to start mugging, I might forget what I’ve studied!!
Day 1: 24hrs to study two chapters... I don’t need that much time. I need more sleep though...Zzzz
D-day (3 hrs to go): Ok, which book is this chapter (scrambles through a few wrong books until…”found it”)... Ok how many pages…”God dammit, 120 pages for one chapter??”…Ok what might REALLY be important in these...? (Narrows it down to one question)... An attempt for study for the next one hr…
1 hr to go (Tensions): Crap, I’m gonna flunk… unless I twist and write the same answer for all the questions?! Not a good idea, but this is do or flunk moment!!
An hour of nonsense later…
Friend:”How did it go? I think I might pass... I studied the whole night…
Me: You studied the whole night and you’ll “just pass”?? (Actual fear hits now…too late!)
Friend: Yeah and I bet you’ll get above 20, the way you were writing today…
Me (trying on my best modest expression): Oh it was nothing… (It really was nothing!!)
The Result day…
Friend: Hey I scored 18/25, I just can’t believe it, that’s 3 marks more than a pass... More than I ever expected... what’s your score?
Me (confounded n baffled): Um, I got a little less than u, got 15/25… I PASSED? (Self question!)
Friend (clearly concerned mistaking my bafflement to misery): Hey don’t worry, there’s always next internals… I don’t know what’s wrong with these lecturers; you clearly deserve more marks... I saw you writing with such energy!!
Me (recovering from the initial shock n replacing it with amusement n laughter): Yeah, damn right I did. Indeed I spent a lot of energy in articulating that believable crap! Clearly something is indeed wrong with the lecturers! Thank god, it works in my favor!!
Friend: Don’t tell me you didn’t study again...
Me: Hey, I studied enough to make them see I deserve a pass… who am I kidding? I literally wrote the same answer for all. I guess the lecturer likes my words.
My friend rolls her eyes in disgust and dismay before saying, “If I knew they were giving marks for filling the sheets, even I wouldn’t have stayed up and studied the whole night!!”
Dedicated to the Engineering years and my friends and all the rule breaks we did!!