June 26, 2012

Money Matters

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Now that my final semester exams are over, the post-exam holidays are not exactly what I had in my mind during the exams. The vacations after any exam is a welcoming gift to any student but the same doesn’t hold good for a final year Bachelor of Engineering student and especially if that student doesn’t have any inkling what to do with her life once the course ends.

Questions... a lot of unanswered and doubtful ones and Decisions... I remember when I was in 8th grade, I was given the first decision of my future career with respect to which language I would choose as 1st language: Sanskrit or Kannada? And I know the amount of struggle I have faced within myself to choose the one that is suitable for me. If I choose Sanskrit then that would mean I have to pay more attention to the subject but if I choose Kannada, I would have to struggle with the old dialects that I still find difficult to read and understand. Either way I faced a lot of dead ends. I chose Sanskrit over Kannada by the way and for a few reasons it was a good decision in the end and for a few more reasons it was a bad decision after all. This is mainly related to me, taking double the time I take while reading a Kannada news paper or books as opposed to the English ones. As Kannada is my mother tongue, this is a downright shameful situation for me to be in.

Thus said, I and decisions don’t go hand in hand. And now I have a lot of paths ahead of me and choosing the one that is feasible to my mind set and the one that offers minimal doubts about the future is not at all an easy game-play.

I had long dreams about enjoying my holidays in bliss for a couple of months once my exams got over. But the very day I came home after finishing my last exam, I felt least relieved. There was no “thank god it’s finally over” kind of euphoria that usually greets me after every semester’s exam. Instead, there was a dead-weight in my chest. The reason: a student can enjoy his/her vacation if and only if he/she knows when the college is going to reopen next. Once they know the deadline, they can plan the holiday fun accordingly. But I’m currently stuck in a “stay at home” vacation which is anything but a vacation. I don’t have a two month dead line to enjoy my vacation like I used to do in the previous years of my entire education life. My future right now is so dark and clouded. In fact, I have no idea what will happen from a week from now. I have no idea what kind of decisions I have to face and take up in the nearest future. 


Relatives, neighbours, the grocery store aunty and many more people who know me have asked me the same questions; “You have finished your exams right. Finally you are enjoying your holidays na?”

Enjoyment? I have lost the meaning to that word right now. Everything I do right now, I do because I have to do since I have nothing else to do. I feel deeply unemployed and under-educated right now. Because currently I’m in a phase called “wait for thy results and meanwhile thou hast to look for a job or thou hast to apply for higher studies”. As I wait for the dreaded result which is about to be announced, I have to juggle between looking out for jobs and at the same time preparing for PGCET exams for higher studies.
Uncertainties at both the ends and all because everything depends on my results. If I end up getting a backlog (god forbid), I’ll be stuck in a dead-lock for the next six months (unless I manage to pass in reval or the money-mongering challenge revaluation). Else if I do become an Engineer, I have to decide what to do next. I’m terrible at making the right decision so it’s really unsettling.


Bottom-line: I refuse to sit at home and do nothing. I did not struggle these last few years to just give up and sit at home and end up marrying someone and ask him for pocket money in the future. I’m becoming very aware of the money games that are happening in my life right now. Mom and Dad used to dish out money without a second word or question to me before exams ended. But now, every penny equals to a thousand questions. This has started to drive me nuts. I’m used to spending money without thinking and now I have to restrain myself. I know my folks have their best interest in me and they have never said no when it came to money matters but I guess there comes a point when even they feel like ATM machines. And it has never been my intention to make them feel that way but sometimes opinions clash and words will be spoken rather harshly.

Its times like these I strongly feel like taking up any job and just be happy to spend my own money. But that would mean I have to settle for uninteresting jobs and lead a rather miserable life. And if I decide to do MBA for the next 2 years, I have a promise of landing myself in a better career position (even this is an uncertainty but I’m just going to assume the good stuff here to avoid dwelling on uncertainties). But that would mean I have to depend on my folks for two years worth of pocket money.

Decisions... decisions... Which should I make I know not. All I have figured out right now is to gain something, I have to lose something else. 

25 comments:

  1. that was a nice read...
    tough to pick, TRUE :)
    from dresses to colors..

    Decision making is essential for management skills(managing ourselves)

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    Replies
    1. Yeah true, but its easy to say than to actually decide!! ;)

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  2. Togain something you got to lose something...thats the bottomline of everyone's life....what you gain and what you lose decides what you will be in future :-)

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    1. You are absolutely right GS, that''s a positive approach indeed :)

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  3. I understand your predicament. I firmly believe that women should do a job. It changes the perception of people about women. I have seen women workers working in IT factories (phone, computer manufacturing)earn more than their father. Most of them are from one meal a day families. I have seen that these women are treated differently by their parents, their neighbours etc. They ask these women workers to suggest and guide them. It is a big boost for gender equality.

    Don't worry. A person who writes well, will do well in life. Do which ever excites you, whether it is MBA or job.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your feedback Indiawilds and good to hear women from poverty stricken family are given respect rather than skepticism. Yes I'm hoping to continue my education.

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  4. This is the time to get a good education, even if it means depending on your folks for another couple of years :) finish studying early, i say, and start working young.... go on, do your MBA.

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    1. Even I feel strongly to just go with the education, who knows what the education stature might be in the future. Lets see, it depends on the exam I'm going to take next month and the college I get to choose later.

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  5. Every student will go through this phase Neha. It would be an advantage if the parents are supportive. It helps is taking right decisions.
    All the best Neha. :-)

    Yenree, mysore hudugi aagi kannada baralla anta helteera :-)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Mak and my parents are the most supportive. I have no restrictions as such. The only problem right now is that I'm in a dilemma. I hope to figure out what I want by next month.

      Ayo, nange kannda chennage barathe ri, aadre fast aagi odakke aagolla anta helde :)

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    2. Barutte andmele odakke bariyakke yella serbeku :) chennage mataadteera kanree :)

      Don't worry Neha. You will come out of your dilemma soon. Stay strong.
      I agree with what many say here. Agree with Bhavana, Jaish & Uma sir for example. You decide what is good for you and never look back. Stick to your decision ashte :)

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  6. Hey, take up that MBA, two years will fly. All the best :)

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    1. Thanks Gazala :) and even I'm getting inclined towards MBA right now.

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  7. You have let loose the meandering stream of dilemmas write into your piece! And I believe it is symbolic of metal turmoil many in that age bracket must be going through. Allow me to say that you should get that medallion called MBA too.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah you have pointed to the root cause, "dilemma"... I'm still in a dilemma, but trying to have a broader mindset. Thank you for your suggestion Mr.Umashankar :)

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  8. Hi

    I know how that feels :) Believe me, almost all of us go through that. Think well before deciding and once done never look back. Good Luck :) Every decision has a positive side - I just commented that on somebody else's post...Applies to you too :D

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  9. Whatever you decide heres wishing you all the very best in your new endeavour!!

    Chin up!!

    Cheers!!

    You cant go wrong!!

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  10. Neha--I hold a very different approach to money. I was once penniless and too shy to beg. But then I looked at a sparrow twittering happily and told myself, if the sparrow which has no skills to earn money can survive so can I. And I lived all right. Today I hold that I have access to the entire universe's bank vault as long as I use to to for my immediate needs and some impossible-to-stop wants. I feel rich in my heart and I believe money will flow through me. I do what I want to do. I definitely keep myself always skilled and marketable--but I do what I want to do and I stay not one bit worried. This is an fyi because too many people with degrees and great job still feel the "lack" of money--it is a state of mind!

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    1. Hi Bhavana, I agree with what you say but to feel and to live like what you say,one should have some experience at the work-zone. I'm still a student as of now and a career at times sounds so alien to me as it's the beginning of many changes in my life. Maybe that's why I'm thinking in terms of money. I can proudly say I'm independent if and only if I'm earning one-day and that's where the money plays its role for me. It's not about earning lots of money, it's about being able to afford the things from my own pocket.

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  11. Well, I am 20, at the vurge of 6th semester. Technically, academically and literally younger than you and thats why it would be quite idiotic to give an advice.

    But Hello!
    I am an Indian too.

    How come I give up my birthright to give free advice to anyone. So what if I am younger or not.

    Whatsoever, I would like to suggest MBA, as doing a job is bi tougher than studying (or may be my mind have still to workout for enhancing my mental endurance or perception rather)

    also it would be easier to (in)vest parents money rather than earning this early (hope, my papa won't read this).


    God bless take care

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    1. Hi, haha your comment is hilarious :) and thanks for the free advice and its a good one too ;)

      PS: don't worry, ur papa won't read this!! :P

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  12. Been there, done that :) Just do what your heart follows and trsut me you'll be successful. All the very best

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